Saturday, September 26, 2009

Finally


woman typing at desk Pictures, Images and Photos 

I've always loved writing but the thought of writing an actual book seemed so farfetched. I mean I don't directly know anyone who has written an actual book. But my highschool english teacher once told me "There are 26 letters in the English alphabet, and those 26 letters are what you use to make beauty, beauty not only from the mind, but from the heart."

For the past year I've been working on a manuscript that I hope to one day have published. I never intended to write it. At first it started of as letter to someone but I never had the guts to actually send it. With each passing day I continued to add bits and pieces to it. Stories or rather memories of the good times together, conversations we once shared, and the little moments and inside jokes. Slowly it transformed from a simple letter to a bittersweet broken love story.

Someone once asked me "Why do you write?" I write, so that so other people can identify with my life and the things I've been through. I write because all my other dreams have been shattered and writing is the only thing I have left. This manuscript may never get published, it may never become an actual book, but its a small dream come true. Finally I have written a script. So in the end I write because it makes me happy.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Confession

have a confession..


You've caused me to place a vest on my chest


And now I'm just playing the GAME.


I was WRONG, but you weren't RIGHT


This is gonna be the last time I will admit I still LOVE you.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I'm hopeless

Nobody understands how much I miss you,
I miss how we laughed,
And I miss all those things we used to do.
I try not to admit to myself
That I still feel this way,
Nobody knows I still wake up
Thinking of you each day,
I fight every urge to call you,
But I really do miss you.
If only you missed me too.
I would give everything I have
To be everything we're NOT..






I love the power of music.  I find it amazing that an artist can sing a song that totally explains exactly how your feeling at the exact moment. 

Monday, September 21, 2009

Light Switch Pictures, Images and Photos

Sometimes I wish there was an emotional switch.  Wouldn't that come in handy?  TO be able to control ones emotions.  Life would be much simplier and drama free.  They say experience makes you stronger, but there are some exeriences I would rather just not go through.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Confusion

He asked me to marry him today..

I don't know what to do.

I love him, I'm just NOT in love with him.

I was a long time ago, and I keep telling myself in time I WILL again

I can't help the way I feel.

Sometimes I think I'll NEVER be satisified..

Thursday, September 17, 2009

REAL friends

real thing Pictures, Images and Photos

We meet so many different people over the years. Some we become close friends with, some not so much, and othere kind of just walk in and out of our lives without us noticng. We get attached to certain people and we share a special bond with them that is unbreakable or so we think. Over the past few days I have learned who my real friends are and who just talk the talk.

It's been a rough and complicated week, but I truely believe there was some sort of higher power in all of this weeks events. Sometimes out of anger and frustration we act irrationallly and do things in haste. We end up doing things we wouldn't do under normal circumstances. (or maybe thats just me. IDK) I have tried my best not to let the petty little things get to me, but I can only take so much. It's hard not to snap when a person is purposely pushing your buttons and getting on your last nerve and there's nothing you can do about it.

It's in times when we fuck up pretty bad and your completely lost and scared when you find out who your real friends are. The ones who really have your back no matter what, and not the ones who say they do and end up being completely useless. We all do stupid things from time to time but when you have friends who open your eyes, and hug you to let you know things will be okay, and go out of their way to help you knowing they too could get into trouble, everything will be okay.

With this said, I have come to the conclusion that maybe its just about that time to cut those other so-called friends out of my life. Why hold on to a friendship that is no longer sturdy anymore. Why invest the time or patience listening to someone who isn't willing to do the same for you?  Some may say I'm being a little irrational, but frankly, life is to short, to be wasting time on people you can't count on.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

I've Learned

A birth certificate shows that we were born,  a death certificate shows that we died, pictures show that we lived, and experience makes us stronger. I Believe that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had, and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. This is a list of some of the life lessons I've learned so far.

I've learned...That just because two people argue, doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I've learned... That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned... That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned... That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.

I've learned.... That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned.... That it's going to take me a long time to become the person I want to be, but the experiences will be worth it.

I've learned..... That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned... That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned.... That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned.... That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned.... That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned.... That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned.... That my best friend and I can do anything, or nothing, and have the best time.

I've learned....What it feels like to have your heart broken and to break someones you loves heart. The latter is the worse of the two.

I've learned...... That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned.... That although at times I have the right to be angry, it that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned.... That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned... That 2 people can come from opposite worlds and still have alot in common.
I've learned.... That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned.... That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, But we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned.... That just because a relationship is over, it doesn't mean you still can't be the best of friends.

I've learned..... That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life Forever.

I've learned..... Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned... That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned... That even when you think you have no more to give, if a friend cries out to you....you will find the strength to help.

I've learned..... That credentials on the wall and the rank on your collar do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned.... That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned.... If you love someone you want them to be happy even if it's not with you.

I've learned... The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything.