WHY?

Why can't I speak when I have so much to tell?
Why can't I write when I have so much in mind?
Why can't I sing when there's music in my heart?
Why can't I dance when there's rythm in the air?

Too many words left unspoken
Too many things left undone
Why can't it be and why can't I?
For all I know this pain deep inside
Took the gladness from my heart.

Is this the pain of missing you?
Is this the reason behind it all?

Hear the agony of my heart
Longing for you and for your touch
Feeling your lips, feeling your face
Missing your kisses and warm embrace.

When will the waiting ever be over?
For as long as were apart I can never be whole
Oh! My Dearest Love
I just want you to know
That my heart is aching because
"I'M MISSING YOU!"

new motto

High Passion + Low Emotion = Mindless FUN

Rain

I love it when it rains
cause nobody can see me cry
I love to go and play in the rain
cause it taste so good

I love going out and sitting in the rain
for the sound soothes my soul.
I love watching the rain
for it relaxes my mind.

I love the rain
It makes me feel like I'm alive.
But most importantly
I love the rain
cause no one can tell
that I'm......

MISSING YOU...

change

I Regret..

You may never read this but...

I regret that you're the one.
and I regret that I had you wrapped around my finger for so long,
and I didn't even know it.
I regret that now you're in love with someone else,
and I'm stuck pretending I love my boyfriend.
when we both know that I don't.
I regret that I'm leading him on,
simply because I don't wanna be alone.
but mostly, I regret that I'm in love with you ...
and there's absolutely nothing i can do about it.

I regret that I didn't fight for you. I let you walk out of my life and now I want nothing more than for you to walk right back into it. Now your with her and I'm alone. I'm trying my best to stay friends with you because its what you wanted but its so hard. You tell me you miss and that I'm a great person but how am I supposed to believe that when you can also tell me that you don't want to be with me? I regret that you can't see that I still love you. You think I'm doing fine but really I'm dying inside. Why can't you see this smile on my face is covering up my tears? I regret that I'm not strong enough to not be friends with you.

I regret that moment of silence, when you told me to tell you what was on my mind. I regret staying quiet, biting away my tears, not wanting you to see it was killing me too. I regret that moment between when I had you and when I didn't, because it's been months and I can't stop thinking about it.

I regret staying quiet in the last moments that you loved me, I took them for granted and I thought I wouldn't miss you. I regret that moment when you walked away, how I was fully capable of running after you, and having a teary reunion in the middle of the street, because I dream about it every night. I regret letting you go, I shouldn't have. I keep telling myself it was the right decision but it wasn't. I regret everything, I regret this life I'm living without you.

Numb

Stuck in a world of darkness.
A prisoner of my mind.
Searching for a way out,
But lost in translation.
Deeper and deeper I dig myself
Into this whole with no escape.

Each pull, each hit, every drink, every pill
Starts to numb the pain away.
As my thoughts begin to wander,
Everything fades away like a bitter memory.

But it doesn't last as long anymore.
Up the dosage, more pulls,
Take more, mix them all together.
Whatever it takes to be numb again.

I sit in the corner as the familiar feeling sinks in.
Paralyzing my emotions,
As I lose sense of reality.
Forgetting the pain, the sorrow, the regret.

bittersweet

I started to break down. The fact that you still cared made my heart break and hurt more. I want to see you, look you in the eyes, Call you just a friend and mean it. Not love you and not cry But that will not happen unless I love you from a distance. As for now I will sit and wallowAnd deal with my regret. It will be hard but maybe my heart will go on just as your already has. And maybe someday soon just as you call me friend I too will be able to call you friend and mean it.