I Regret..

You may never read this but...

I regret that you're the one.
and I regret that I had you wrapped around my finger for so long,
and I didn't even know it.
I regret that now you're in love with someone else,
and I'm stuck pretending I love my boyfriend.
when we both know that I don't.
I regret that I'm leading him on,
simply because I don't wanna be alone.
but mostly, I regret that I'm in love with you ...
and there's absolutely nothing i can do about it.

I regret that I didn't fight for you. I let you walk out of my life and now I want nothing more than for you to walk right back into it. Now your with her and I'm alone. I'm trying my best to stay friends with you because its what you wanted but its so hard. You tell me you miss and that I'm a great person but how am I supposed to believe that when you can also tell me that you don't want to be with me? I regret that you can't see that I still love you. You think I'm doing fine but really I'm dying inside. Why can't you see this smile on my face is covering up my tears? I regret that I'm not strong enough to not be friends with you.

I regret that moment of silence, when you told me to tell you what was on my mind. I regret staying quiet, biting away my tears, not wanting you to see it was killing me too. I regret that moment between when I had you and when I didn't, because it's been months and I can't stop thinking about it.

I regret staying quiet in the last moments that you loved me, I took them for granted and I thought I wouldn't miss you. I regret that moment when you walked away, how I was fully capable of running after you, and having a teary reunion in the middle of the street, because I dream about it every night. I regret letting you go, I shouldn't have. I keep telling myself it was the right decision but it wasn't. I regret everything, I regret this life I'm living without you.