The Dark Side of Jen

This is something I wrote at the beginning of this year. I still find it hard to beleive I found myself in such a dark place. I used to be such a happy person, "HIGH ON LIFE" per say. I thought coming home and meeting someone would help put things into perspective. In a way it has but as I think of those months when I was at my lowest point, I realize no one was there and no one cared. The very people I called friends, were the same people who were helping me dig myself deepeer and deeper into depression. I know now that I can't depend on anyone but me. Never again will I allow my emotions to take over me.

Here it is..

I force my eyes from my forearms and look at the girl before me. I don't even know who she is anymore. Dark circles surround her bloodshot eyes and her wavy black hair is a mess of knots. Just looking at her disgusts me. She's so stupid, so ugly, so completely and utterly useless. The clothes she wears do nothing to hide the disgusting body of hers. Red drips off her fingers as blood oozes from the fresh new cuts. Suddenly, a wave of emotions wash over me. Sadness, despair, jealousy course through my body, only to disappear the next second, pushed out of the way by anger. I grit my teeth and reach for the nearest object, my bloodied knife. Using all my strength, I hurl it at the girl before me. The blade strikes through and stickes in the wall. Glass cracks and falls to the floor taking the image of with it. Tears flow down my face and I fall to my knees, sinking into oblivion.