Dear Bear

Dearest Bear,

It’s now 3:19 in the morning. It was 3 weeks since my last drink but tonight I needed to forget and pretend everything was okay. I'm fighting the urge to call you. I am unable to get to sleep and for some reason my mind automatically think of you and what you're going through.

I know it sounds silly really to let my mind think of you and start writing this letter. But when there is still love, there will always be fondness and thoughts of the person you love. So, here I am thinking of you in the middle of the night when I should be fast asleep in bed.

I know you don't love me anymore and I think I have gotten used to the idea that you will never be part of my life again like how it used to be. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t long for those happy days. Neither does it mean that I don’t wish for those magical moments to reappear.

After all, what has passed cannot be recaptured. What remain are mere memories. Perhaps with time, the memories will fade and you will appear less and less in my thoughts. But when that will be and how long it takes before my mind will think of something or someone else, only God knows. It is a rough ride and I don’t like it but neither can I do anything about it. This feeling of loving and missing someone but at the same time, knowing that it has all come to an end is not exactly a comfortable feeling in my heart.

Toninght all I could think about was what we talked about yesterday. I wish I could hold you and tell you everything is going to be okay. I wish I could make your heartbreak go away. I wish I could hold your hand and assure you that your going to make it through this, because your alot stronger than you think, and I know if you decided to, you'll be an awesome parent. There's so many things I wish I could say, but I know it's not my place, so I sit here and type the words I will never have the courage to say.

Thinking of you always,
Jen